Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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