Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
