I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
did i walk over a car last night?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize