we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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