if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
