she looked like the before picture.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
