Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
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I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
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Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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