Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band