i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.