she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...