Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
