Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
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im calling her cock vulture from now on
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
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Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!