he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno