Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.