Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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