Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I need to wash the frat house off of me
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Sext me about skeletons
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
