It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
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could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
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I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My dick has a subreddit
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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