hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
This is the high leading the old right now
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
