So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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