How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize