VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
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Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
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I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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