sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
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He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
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That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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