Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
i think im in europe. pls send help
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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