I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
