he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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