Can i not drive my cunt home
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize