So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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