I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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