I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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