my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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