Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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