and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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