guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize