i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
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God, you're like boner-b-gone
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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