Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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