So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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