She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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