apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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