scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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