On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize