Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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