Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I wish you could order shots online.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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