I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize