There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize