So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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