he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You made out with two different species that night
I fill condoms, not promises.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth