how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
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all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
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If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.