I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.