I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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