I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize