I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize