peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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