you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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