Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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