i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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