i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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