Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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